The Luxe Bus, Juice 50 2014

WEBSITE/PUBLICATION: JUICE.PH/JUICE 50 2014
PUBLISHING DATE: JUNE 2014

(Original Submission)

TRAVELING IN STYLE: THE LUXE BUS

It’s five in the morning. You’re sleep walking to board the bus to Sagada. The air-con conks out, your chair has a world of its own, there’s a colicky baby behind you, and what the hell is that smell? Not an ideal 16-hour drive, obviously. It’s just as cruel as the cramped van your folks rented out for Pagudpud last summer, when your whiny cousins kept removing your earphones just when you’re headed to snoozeville. It’s times like this that test your backpacking smarts and make you ache for The Luxe Bus.

The Luxe Bus is your bachelor party ride fantasy materialized, and then some. Imagine this if you can: The Luxe Bus fleet is decked out with highly trained chauffeurs, professional catering, Vogel and Kiel designed VIP seats, fully stocked minibars, Wi-Fi, Sound Stream entertainment systems, televisions, sausage cookers, ovens, coffee machines, wine coolers (upon request), chest chillers, kitchenettes, lavatories, outlets, GPS tracking, and ABS… and those are just the basics. The amenities get better as you move up the three-bus choices, Acogedor, Estilo, and Indulgencia.

Acogedor can accommodate 21 guests and is designed to transport two groups of people. There’s a glass partition that separates the bus’s two sections, one television per section. Estilo is good for 18 guests. The last two rows are configured for face-to-face conversation. It’s also fitted with two television screens, a convection oven, and two chillers. Indulgencia sits 24 guests. Here you can surf the net, watch movies, play games, or listen to music with top-quality headsets on the 10-inch HD Funtoro touch-screen tablet monitors. Rental is about P30,000 to P60,000 for 15 hours. That’s around P1,500 to P3,000 per head. You can’t even compare these to first-class aviation comforts.

The Luxe bus isn’t just for out-of-town trips. You can hire their buses for virtually anything you can think of. If all you can fancy is a stag party, then you need to check these movies (and a show) out for some Luxe Bus-renting inspiration.


1. NEW GIRL “THE STORY OF THE 50” EPISODE

Your douchey yet oddly charismatic friend deserves a fun night on his birthday, but not without an old nerdy man as a stripper for kicks. Add in the obligatory bar hop and games and it’s a birthday he’ll never forget. Just skip on inviting your barkada’s girlfriend with anger management issues.

Bus to rent: Acogedor
Where to go: Burgos St., of course!
What to bring: Condoms, kosher yogurt, douchebag jar, and bro juice.


2. ALMOST FAMOUS

Convince a magazine (or Juice.ph) that you can write a piece on your favorite band, invite your fan friends to come along, and get the band to spend a day with you. Tell them you’re renting the Estilo bus and they won’t be able to resist. If things get humdrum, play Tiny Dancer and persuade them to sing along.

Bus to rent: Estilo
Where to go: How else can you become friendly with the band than seeing them jam? Stop by at Music 21 and end the night at Black Market.
What to bring: Sounds and alcohol. Magic Sing. And a tape recorder for cred.


3. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET - THE BACHELOR PARTY SCENE

This isn’t like any stag you’ve been to. This is an epic feat that, if you pull it off, will write you down in the annals of history. Money talks, so pool in the funds and get as much strippers, drugs, and booze you can get. You do want an uninterrupted revelry from Manila to an out-of-town destination so stock up and make sure supplies last for days.

Bus to rent: Indulgencia
Where to go: Mi Terraza Resort in Antipolo, a private resort near Manila that you can rent out just for your group.
What to bring: Red Bull


4. COSMOPOLIS

Yes, a Luxe Bus will be the bus you’d want to hire for an indulgent trip to your barber. If you’re anything like Eric Packer, you’ll impress your clients and hold a meeting at Estilo’s configured seats, wine and dine them around the city, and seal the deal at a distinguished restaurant. If they turn you down, you can always direct the misery to self-destruction and shoot yourself in the hand.

Bus to rent: Estilo
Where to go: Get a shave, haircut, and a suit done at Felipe & Sons. Conclude the trip at Chef Jessie 100 Revolving Restaurant.
What to bring: Turn the bus into your mobile office and take your gadgets along.


5. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE - I AM THE WALRUS SCENE

If only Bono can whisk you away at his Beyond Bus and bring you to Mr. Kite’s bizarre circus, life will finally find its meaning. The next best thing? Go to a gig/play/exhibit, make friends with the performers, rent the Acogedor, drink copious amounts of spiked Kool Aid, and create intermittent, stumbling-drunk memories in a theme park.

Bus to rent: Acogedor
Where to go: Make friends with artists and performers at DITO: Bahay ng Sining. It clearly has to be Enchanted Kingdom for the after-party.
What to bring: Kaleidoscopes, Across The Universe soundtrack, a cooler filled with spiked juice, bongos, and a typewriter.